This is part of my Opinion series, which is largely one-sided and seeking no balance of argument. You do not have to agree or disagree, but do take this all with a dosage of light-hearted wit and humour. If any part of the article strikes resemblence or inference to anyone familiar, it is purely a coincidence. Enjoy.
Who wouldn’t want to be in a position where you can choose any car you like and take it to Sin Ming or Paya Ubi to get it beefed up?
An Ah Sia Kia (ASK) literally translated from Hokkien means a rich man’s son.
These are the guys who need not have the best looks but yet score with the hottest chicks. There was Aaron and his Nissan GT-R R35 tuned to 800bhp which he drove to school with, William and his Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution IV MR so loud you can hear it five blocks away and Jason who has the worst complexion and oily skin but never fails to have a hot chick in the passenger seat of his Ferrari F430 Spider.
There’s nothing wrong with being rich or having doting parents; these are the very people who always have the sauciest stories about the sluttiest babes of the school – chicks that most guys can only dream of going out with.
The envy doesn’t end there.
School and examinations are no worry to them – it’ll just be an overseas degree course at any university of their choice should they fail to make it locally. Anyway it’s just to pass time until they inherit their father’s coffee shop chain, import and export trade business or tobacco outfit.
For the ASKs, the toughest decision probably lies in deciding between an Audi R8 V10 Spider or the Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 Spyder, or whether he should go for the girl with the voluptuous C-cups or the leggy chick whose vital stats read 34-24-32.
While the rest have to put up with fuel-saving right-foot driving and office boot-licking tactics in hope of higher pay, the ASKs are revving their souped-up engines at a traffic light junction telling the world that fuel cost is no issue to them.
They spend the afternoons driving from workshop to workshop trying to get the best deal for their next upgrade, while others are rushing reports and deadlines, juggling numerous projects at the same time.
Fast cars, hot chicks and branded labels, ahh, the luxury of being an ASK.
The biggest headache probably lies in deciding which girl to take out tonight or what fib to feed to the girlfriend, the biggest worry is when their car parts are arriving and having them installed in time for the next track day so the damage won’t be so bad when they kiss the wall.
Nowadays, it’s not about just having a car, but it’s about what car you have. Girls feel proud of their boyfriends when they roll up in a swanky luxury ride, secretly gloating to the rest of their girlfriend gang who have to take public transport or squeeze into a 1.3-litre Asian hatchback.
ASK and you will receive.